Are you there for me when I need you?…

We want to communicate better, manage expectations and be more united in our relationship.

We are seeking to be a stronger couple while raising kids.

We want to stick together and enjoy it while we are at it.

Take a deep breath in and two deep breaths out!

Remember you and your partner back early in the relationship and what you thought you are going to do together.

Now you are in the place where you have all those things (house, boat, kids, etc)

And you are trying to manage to be in a relationship.

You may have experienced things like:

Having limited time for important connecting conversations

The fix?

We just plan to talk. We say: On Saturday morning we go out for a 10min walk and then we find a bench to talk empathetically about the matter.

A major fact to remember is that:

Different communication styles lead to tension, frustration, and resentment.

We wonder: How do I get across?

We often have different emotional needs that aren’t prioritized or fulfilled. Do you feel that your partner is filling more of your children/dog’s needs than yours?

You are absolutely overwhelmed by the number of roles you are expected to play which may be: money maker, partner, parent, cleaner, homework assistant, dog walker, intimate partner, the voice of reason, bin emptier, and chef. All these jobs can feel overwhelming.

The goal is:

You want to feel safe, connected, grow together, and feel like an unbreakable team

We live in a society where is fashionable to be dating, engaging, and getting married.

But there is a vital need for something that is trendy before the big YES. We need to understand clearly why we get married/moved in together.

I grew up in a family where when something was not going ok my father removed himself and run away. No communication, before and after. Even now after 30 years they still didn’t figure it out why they got together or break up.

Growing up I also learned that I should never have sex before marriage. So, I didn’t for a while but when I did I was embarrassed and not opened about it.

For a while, I waited for them to change so I can do the flip for myself. Yes. I waited.

My parents went from being madly in love to an eventful divorce and toxic aftermath.

Behind every challenged relationship there is a missing skill that can be learned.

That is why we learn skills to communicate even better, manage expectations, and be more united in our relationships. We often repeat the first mistakes we made with our first love. We don’t heal, let mother nature do the talking and keep falling into the same trap repeatedly.

And the mistake is…

We forget the lines:

I am here

I am committed

I am willing

I am learning

I am growing

You are right here with me

We are a team

Did you see the movie “The break up”?

The movie is a great example of a great couple that lost connection.

The main point is: He came back from work. She was cooking and preparing a big dinner for family and friends. She was frustrated, tired, busy, and alone. She knew that he will not help but she shamed him/blamed him. He became defensive because he wanted to relax. It turned into a big fight.

This is a negative cycle they are always getting stuck into. The negative cycle created resentment and disconnection in the past.

They don’t address it in a logical way and it breaks them.

The phrase she could have used:

When you see me getting big and protesting inside I am feeling desperate to be seen and heard.

Because it hurts so much that I can’t reach you and I can see how that leaves you feeling attacked and like a failure.

He could have thought something like: I don’t like it when she snaps at me. Everybody can be grumpy sometimes. Most of the time she is kind and loving. I am going to wait for her to be in a calm place and then I will tell her how it affects me when I get snapped at.

Instead he thought: she is grumpy and she snapped at me. She never treats me right and I am tired of putting up with this. I am going to tell her what a bad partner she is.

What you should do next:

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