“The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.”
Ben Stein
I knew what I wanted when I started dating but I didn’t have the audacity
to believe I could also get it.
How about you?
“I know what I want… I want someone stable and reliable” says an old workmate who is always attracted to jobless actors. She has no idea how to stop the pattern of being attracted to Bad Boys. We have to purposely do the thinking to know what we want when looking for a significant other. Even more importantly, we must know exactly what we are willing to accept if the package is not completely to our liking.
Therefore, when you go shopping for a significant other, you need to fill the
columns for “necessary “and “desirable” headings. After you scrutinize their lifestyle, what can you accept and at what point do you respectfully retract your troops?
Many of us will say: “How am I supposed to know if I am not in the moment?”. It has been found that men tend to have a clearer idea about what they want. But this is not set in stone. On the other side, women might be fixated on finding a “taller man than me” who will possibly protect her from the lurking big kangaroo hiding behind the lily pilly bush. I have no idea but is this really important and is it possible that these “wants “could be holding you back?
So, grab the table below and fill it up with the attributes you are chasing on your date or mate.
After you have filled up your recipe ingredients how do you turn it into an ala carte meal?
Let’s imagine, Gordon Ramsay standing in front of you, waiting for you to produce your ingredient list for your favourite meal. When you insist on a particular list of ingredients then he will give his best shot without cursing. If you don’t insist, Gordon might send you something he thinks you’ll like or he might even send nothing because he forgot or was busy with other immutable clients. He could also send you something that gives you a tummy ache. Let’s just hope Gordon doesn’t read this blog. Have another look at your list. How flexible are you?
I know of someone who insists that she can’t date a person that is at least 6’’ taller than she is. Her recipe is set. She did suffer indigestion in the past due to this ingredient but she sticks with her guns. When asked by a male friend if she would reconsider the height, she insisted implacably on the tall men idea. Hmmm.
Gordon knows from experience that the proportion needs to be right to produce a good meal. Therefore, when we connect with others we must consider Head, Heart, and Hormones.
The next blog is continued about…
How to respectfully retract your troops
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Today we have learned from The really useful grown-ups guide to Dating & Mating by Susan Alexander and Christina Taylor
