Recently, many parents have been complaining that their children or teenagers refuse to go to school. Reluctance to wake up and get dressed, many visits to the first aid office, missing classes, or many complaints of physical pain or sicknesses like stomach aches, headaches or diarrhea may be signs of school refusal. It may be as well possible that defiance and anxiety are the reason.
It is hard to know what to do. With over 3 billion parenting experts out there we still seem not to know what to do. Their behaviour can be upsetting for the family and is painful to see your child hurting and incapable to go to school. The most important step is understanding why the child can’t make it to school. Firstly, the reason for not attending school may be hindered by the symptoms of anxiety or depression. It could also be the result of bullying or problems with friends and/or family members. There may be an array of reasons.
When your teenager doesn’t want to go to school, talk with your child’s therapist. To deal with the situation she can help with developing tools that can solve the situations such as discussing your child’s sleeping habits so he can get to school on time. If bullying is the reason then the school should know so they can deal with the tension between your child and the bully. Family may help if the child misses’ school because of family-based reasons.
It is a good idea to involve the school and open communication is the key. It can be highly effective if you can work with the school and your therapist.
Helpful tips:
– Power struggle with your child. When your child doesn’t go to school try and do not to react in any way. Your reaction can affect you both and create tension which is not helpful at all.
– Support their feelings. The best way to understand how he feels is to put yourself in his shoes. It will feel very good to know that parents are on your team and know that is hard to go to school.
– Strengthen the plan. If there is a plan in place remind your child about the skills he learned from his therapist. Learn the skills yourself. Practice those skills at home so he can use them when needed. The teachers can be informed about these skills so they can help when necessary.
– Set up a safe place. When a child feels emotional, it is scary showing his feelings to his classmates. This could be a reason for school avoidance. To make school feel like a safe environment, it is best to have a safe place where your child can relax and collect himself. This place could be the nurse’s room or support teachers’ staff room.
– Exercise tolerance. Stay strong on the idea of going to school and realize that overcoming school refusal can take time.
– Acknowledge and encourage improvement. Notice the moments when your child is using his skills or making small improvements in the right direction. When we are sad, we seem to see only negativity but when we are positive, we feel very powerful.
In case of chronic school refusal, it may be best to focus your resources to initiate a process of your own if the school can’t provide a therapeutic environment. Talking with your child’s pediatrician or therapist may give you some suggestions and involving an NDIS provider may be of great support as well.
read about therapeutic care…
