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Initial (First) Family
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Parenthood forces us to confront our ability to handle stress, adapt to significant life changes, and handle pressure in interpersonal interactions. Motherhood forces women to completely recreate their sense of who they are. Although the path is comparable for fathers, there are various societal and personal expectations. It's a moment of major adjustment and newly established objectives.
Women go through a number of important changes after becoming mothers. Her relationship with her body, her sense of self, and her role as a parent have all changed. It has a lot of benefits but also a lot of drawbacks.
The changes are significant for males. Relationships in terms of emotion, sex, and domestic responsibilities with their spouse alter practically overnight. Men who become parents are compelled to examine their own identities while their partners are doing the same.
This transitional time offers a chance to develop.
Allow me to tell you in bullet points about family and parenting therapy
Stress in Relationships
According to some studies, relationship satisfaction peaks around the start of the third trimester of a first pregnancy and declines by 80% in the first year following childbirth. According to other studies, up to 93% of first-time mothers report diminishing relationship satisfaction with their partner after the baby is born.
How effectively a pair interacts and works together under duress will decide how the relationship turns out. Many couples find that becoming parents opens up a whole new set of conflicting issues, especially when it comes to expectations of each other’s duties and engagement in household management, economics, sex, and involvement of extended family. Different people have different expectations of how each other will behave when they are under pressure or in conflict; conflict-related communication frequently devolves into finger-pointing and defensiveness.
What I see in couples counselling is that interactions between partners often take on a very procedural nature after having children. Hurtful disappointments, growing conflicts, or emotional retreats can frequently take precedence over intimacy and sexual enjoyment.
The relationship between harmful communication occurs as follows:
A problem is brought up, but not in a way that would help; rather, it will make the other person feel guilty. It might be genuine criticism that is conveyed, or it could be a neutral remark that is interpreted as criticism. However, the other party feels personally attacked and responds defensively, leaving the initial problem unresolved. The talk frequently shifts to disparaging one other’s behaviours, which can cause a reflexive adrenal stress reaction (commonly referred to as Fight or Flight) that causes us to lose our ability to think clearly.
Many times, “stonewalling”—or ceasing all communication—occurs in an effort to control this stress reaction, even when it’s done as a kind of punishment. As a result, the initial problem—no matter how great or small—never gets resolved.
Criticism (or perceived criticism), followed by defensiveness, a counterattack, or deprecation, contempt, stonewalling, and emotional retreat, is often how the toxic communication interaction plays out.
Stress in Parenting
It may be quite difficult for parents to deal with their children’s vivid and emotive personalities. We give up sleep, pass up job possibilities, and develop stronger self-control in order to help our kids navigate their emotions. We strike a balance between maintaining our own independence, and being there for our kids, and the conflicting emotions of joy, remorse, and sorrow that go along with it. This is a period when we frequently think back on our interactions with our own parents and recognise some of the challenging situations we have faced that we would like to avoid in this new position. Sometimes we must admit that we aren’t the parents our children deserve, and these discrepancies must be made up.
Relations with the Extended Family
Is raising a child something that the two parents experience separately? Or a gathering that is open to everyone from the wider family tree?
Greater knowledge, care, and security are opportunities provided by interlocking family subsystems or the joining and engagement of the two parental family systems. There are several opportunities for the entire tree to develop, link, and open up. However, the ways that these subsystems function differently usually result in stress, tension, and anger.
Why? Because individuals of the extended family have different beliefs about how family interactions should work, including the providing and receiving of both physical and emotional support. Early on, preconceived notions about what they will offer become obvious, and these expectations are not necessarily the same among family members. When members of the couple’s extended family express support for or criticism of the couple’s parenting choices, it is clear. They receive unintentional assessments of how they are doing as new parents and suggestions for improvement. These good intentions run the danger of being misunderstood as judgement; curiosity and interest as intrusiveness; and a whole host of other mismatched communication that causes conflict, resentment, and discord among family members.
On the other hand, when these extended family ties are founded on high-quality connection and communication, the smaller family unit is likely to feel more comfortable and confident in their changing circumstances. These interactions are frequently described as being kind, encouraging, and nonjudgmental with an implicit awareness of personal space limits.
Digital distractions, love, parenting, household tasks, involvement of in-laws and other extra-family interactions, and divergent financial objectives are some of the common solvable difficulties that we address in counselling.
Intriguingly, happy, healthy families frequently differ on these matters, but because of the way they communicate with each another and their willingness to compromise for one another, they are able to come up with a solution that satisfies all of their most fundamental needs.
They can get back to the initial position of respect that started the relationship as long as all parties have a shred of optimism. Children, stress, personal change, and time can lead to families becoming emotionally distant or resentful. Family counselling using strategies is quite successful at rekindling the relationship and increasing shared meaning.
Initial First Family/Mentoring Booking
After you booked:
- Check our location page for direction
- Familiarise yourself with our cancelation policy.
On your arrival:
- At our Cessnock office please report your arrival at the reception and wait in the waiting area provided in the Pathology Rooms.
- At our Maitland office please walk upstairs and wait in the sitting area provided by the stairs.
After your appointment:
- Notice how you’re feeling emotionally and physically
- Write about the emotions you’re experiencing to discuss them at your next session
- Stretch your body
- Step outside for some fresh air
- Engage in breathing exercises
- Look at something beautiful that will bring you joy
- Eat a nourishing meal
Ask yourself:
- Do I have any new thoughts or feelings?
- Am I experiencing new body sensations?
- Is anything getting better? Is anything getting worse?
- Am I having new dreams that may be connected to what was discussed?
Allow me to tell you in bullet points about my values and why these values are so important to me:
Respect
I understand that everyone has different needs and I respect about clients’ uniqueness and individuality. I help you to develop solutions and responses that are acceptable and meaningful to you.
Compassion
I endeavor to provide the compassionate care that we would all want for ourselves and our families.
Connection
I am connected with my clients and the broader community. I value our relationships.
Empathy
I have developed the ability to listen with the goal of understanding your perspective and sensing what you need from me. I am present. I am curious. I let go of my biases.
Equality
I believe that every individual has an equal opportunity to make the most of their lives and talents. I have the belief that all people are of equal worth and are entitled to equal respect.
FAQS:
As a psychology professional and member of IARPP, APA, EMDRAA, and EAPAA Simona Graham is bound by the Code of Ethics of these organizations and the NSW Government rules of confidentiality.
Initial(first) appointments are 70 minutes. The initial consult is an opportunity to hear about your issues and concerns, your life history and the ways in which anxiety or mood troubles have limited your enjoyment of life. For children 16 years and under, at least one parent has to attend the initial consult.
It’s very common for people to question whether therapy (the quiz is designed to help you with this question) works in the first place. The thing about therapy is, it doesn’t work the way, say, a medication might, where when you have symptoms, you take a drug targeting those symptoms, and hopefully, after some amount of time, those symptoms go away. Therapy is more about taking the time to look for and treat the source of the wound.
You can ask questions in your counselling session and after your counselling sessions. I take pride on my effort to answer text messages or any emails you will need to send in between our sessions. I will be the one to answer all the text messages and emails enquiries.
