Values are very important and all people around us seem to be trying to teach us their values. All of them are mum and dad, friends, school, government, and society, in general, are trying to direct us towards what they understand as their values.
If you have no idea what your values are then you will be convinced to borrow other people’s values. That hurts.
I am going to give you a test for you to do in your own time while you are alone to figure it out.
Write it down because you will need it:
1. It doesn’t matter much
2. It’s kind of important to me
3. It’s important to me
4. It is very important to me
5. It is vital to me
These values can change throughout your life and it is ok if you change your mind later on. It is important to what you think is meaningful now.
For example, when I was single it was easy to be a good friend but it wasn’t that easy to be a good girlfriend.
So now put your preferred number on the lines below.
Being a good friend__________
Being a good boyfriend/girlfriend_________
Being a good son/daughter___________
Being a good brother/sister___________
Being a good student__________
Being a good employee___________
Being good to myself__________
Being active in my hobbies___________
Being creative________
Being productive___________
Being a good community member___________
Being a good member of humankind____________
Being good with the Earth (the environment, animal rights, etc.) _________
Being in contact with my spirituality (whatever you want to call it) ___________
Being …. (insert your ideas) _________
Do your actions show that this is something you value?
Find another colour pen and give it a second rating with this new scale below.
1. Totally off track with this value
2. A bit off track
3. Mostly on track
4. On track
5. There could be a photo of me in the dictionary next to this value
How did you feel when you gave yourself a different rating?
Were you proud of yourself or dwelling on a bit of a shitty moment? Are you lying about the values or underneath them?
What’s your plan for getting on with the things that matter the most to you? You will say I tricked you. If you are alone in your room then nobody knows it.
If we sit at the bus station and we see a fellow saying that we should all go North because North is the way to go to reach the top. What do we do?
After n years we go past the same bus stop and see that same fellow saying that we should go North to be achieved and successful. It is the way to happiness.
After two years the guy is still there saying the same stuff. You stop and ask him about it and recommend the perfect apps and books about North. Also, you ask him about the best things he’s seen when he went North but he replies: “I have never been North. Too hard to get up there. The road is too bad, and I am waiting for the government to fix the road so I can have an easy trip. Then he says proudly: “BUT, I have never gone South.”
Do you take this fella seriously? If it’s worth it, I, personally would travel over a bad road and jump through a couple of fiery hoops to get to that promised land. Right?
Like someone wise said:
Values are like compass directions. They’re meaningless unless you move.
What you should do next:
