Am I not good enough? Which part of me shows up when I ask that?
It’s wise to understand yourself before trying to understand others. Understanding yourself could take a very long time to figure it out.
What I mean is:
Do you know who you are?
You might think, “Of course, I know who I am.” This kind of self-assurance is common, but it often doesn’t hold up under closer inspection. We might tell ourselves, “I’m always an optimist,” but in doing so, we craft a narrative about ourselves that may not reflect the full truth. We create a character—our persona—that we present to the world, often hiding behind it. Sometimes, it feels safer to keep this mask on, especially at work or in social settings.
But what happens if we never take off the mask? Worse still, what if we no longer recognize the person behind it?
This becomes problematic when we choose a partner, as we may end up connecting with someone else’s mask rather than their true self.
Do you know How You Appear to Others?
You might say, “I know how people see me.”
But I would ask, “Which people?”
The reality is that we present ourselves differently to different people in different situations. This isn’t unusual—it’s natural to adapt to our surroundings, much like a chameleon changes its colors.
We can’t always be the same person in public as we are when we’re alone at home. We often need to play different roles and wear the appropriate masks depending on the situation. But what happens if we present a fixed persona to a potential partner and that mask eventually slips or changes? What if the happy, calm, responsible facade gives way to a side that yells and loses control? Are we two different people, or are these just different aspects of a whole person? The answer lies in how rigid and deceptive your original disguise was.
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Today we have learned from The really useful grown-ups guide to Dating & Mating
